It is hard learning to allow children to feel their emotions, knowing that they are supported, but not to jump in and fix it for them. We hate to hear them cry and will do all sorts to stop them crying. Change the biscuit, new juice etc.
Sometimes though we should be looking to help our children through their cry. It is a powerful lesson to them to know that they have been upset, nothing changed, but they feel better. Once we have felt the emotion fully it usually goes away.
There have been Facebook posts on looking after yourself to look after your children, which I totally agree with. However, what you sometimes find is that you can be relaxed and then still immediately be triggered by something that the kids do.
Looking after yourself is in order to draw on this reserve to manage your own emotions when your children are struggling to manage theirs.
This containment of our own emotions then allows us to ‘be there’ and connect with our kids when they are working through an emotion. It stops us from interfering and redirecting their feeling because we find it hard. Sometimes kids needs a good cry or rage to then move on and feel better. Or as I heard through handinhandparenting this week an ’emotional poop!’ 🙂